Being Beautiful

I, like nearly every women in North America, am not 100% confident or comfortable with my appearance.  SURPRISE (I think not)!!!!!  But despite my concerns about the sleight weight I carry on my hips, the size of  my breasts, do-I-have-cellulite on the back of my thighs and the weird mutant hairs that grow in random places on my body, I appear to have stumbled upon a way to feel beautiful.  For the record, not beautiful in the way of a princess in a long flowing gown, so sorry to disappoint if that is what you are after.  But rather, beautiful in the way of confident in my appearance, confident that the image I present is one I am happy with, one I want people to see.  The amazing part is that this was a change that came over me in the space of half an hour.  It was not the result of working out for months or dieting or courses or readings on feeling good or activism or a new lover or anything like that.  No instead, my grand transformation is the result of a hair cut.

A hair cut you say?  How is that possible?  Sure we all feel good after we get prettied up at the salon but that doesn't negate the weight on the hips or the mutant hairs.  Surely you must be kidding yourself.

Hold on.  I will explain.  I have been fighting with my hair on and off for the last year and some.  Cutting it, restyling it, letting it grow, hacking at it, cutting it, letting it grow, restyling...and so on and so forth.  This summer has been hot.  I have heavy hair.  I have been threatening to shave my head simply to relieve myself of the sweat that builds up on my scalp.  I have held off.  And then, I was watching the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo and enjoying Noomi Rapace, that sexy goddess.  I looked at the hairstyle she wore in the movie.  Partially shaven, hair longer on one side.  I grinned.  Next morning, I handed Fiance my hair cutting scissors, pinned part of my hair aside and said "Go!"

In case you are curious, it is exactly as much fun as you think to hack at your own hair.  I may have been giggling.  Once it was short enough, Fiance took his razor and began to shave.  The result: I am now proudly sporting a buzz cut with one long piece in the front.

But that's not a pretty haircut!!!  Why would that make you feel beautiful?

Well, first off the sweat levels and maintenance have gone poof so that is a good start.  Secondly, there is something very wonderful about giving up on trying to appear "traditionally" feminine.  I love it.  Now when I'm wearing a skirt I can enjoy it.  The hair offsets the need for my appearance to match proper feminine.  For me, this is incredibly freeing.  I've always felt like I manage to miss out on being feminine.  Like I somehow cannot quite succeed.  This way, I don't have to try.  It's wonderful.

Also, it's loads of fun to pet (I get more head massages!) and when I get out of the shower and rub my head that water sprays off and makes it rain.  :D  It's more fun than I ever imagined I would get out of a hair cut!!!