Suit Shopping

Fair warning to all readers: I am currently downing a beer on an empty stomach.  If midway through this things get wonky, well, I am blaming Lead Dog Ale and it's tastiness.

With that out of the way let's get onto today's topic: suit shopping!  Friend, Fiance and I went suit shopping (for Fiance.  For our wedding.  That may be obvious but meh.)  Friend is fairly knowledgeable about suits and I like seeping knowledge from people so I tagged along and skulked amongst the suits admiring.

We started off at the Bay.  They are fun.  We wandered in and began inspecting various suits.  At one point we had a drive-by-salesing.  This is where the salesperson asks us if we need help, Friend starts to explain what's up and salesperson says "Ok, I can help" and flees.  It was actually pretty funny.  We did not see hide nor hair of him for our rest of the time in that store.

Not finding anything there that did not fit Fiance weirdly we headed off to Holt Renfrew.  Holt Renfrew also amuses me but for different reasons.  Ever seen the prices on their jeans?  Or their hand bags locked down to the counter?  Any time I am in there I start laughing.  I am a Value Village, occasionally other places when there is a sale, girl.  Anyways, Holt Renfrew.  Here had an actual saleperson.  Which was nice.  He introduced us to a couple of suit jackets but once again nothing really worked.  They did have a number of things that were garishly orange.  Or checkered.  There seemed to be an interesting cross of hick and hipster.  Mmmm.  Yeah, no.

We next ended up at Henry Singer.  First off, it is fancy.  Dark wood, suits, couches.  Fancy. I liked it..  I felt like I should have a smoking jacket and a glass of Scotch.  Here we met Robbie.  He was fun.  Eager.  Flamboyant.  A drama minor.  And really good at his job.  He chatted with us about what we were looking for, the occasion, eyed up Fiance and boom!  Began producing suits that fit.  And  that looked AMAZING. 

Friend made the mistake of telling me that he thought Robbie was cute and so I began making sure to step aside and allow the two of them to flirt.  It was super cute as Friend got all red and I got to tease him afterwards.  But back to the suits!

One was found that was a lovely charcoal, somehow made Fiance looked taller and quite frankly, I was wondering if I could jump him in the dressing room.  I figured that would be on the inappropriate so I just took to staring at him creepily and making "num num" sounds. 

 

I am very excited to see what Fiance will look like on our wedding day.  Also, I want a suit that is that fabulous.  Clearly I need the ability to swap between genders physically so that I fit a men's suit and go get fitted.  And look equally handsome.  Suit shopping was so much better than dress shopping.

Afternoon

2 Easy Steps for A Splendid Afternoon

Les Adventures de Tintin

Earlier this week Fiance and I watched Tintin the movie and holy crap!  As a lover of the comics I was nervous sitting down to watch the film.  Super curious, but nervous.  I was scared they were going to horribly wreck and abuse the wonderful Herge stories of childhood (and, to be honest, stories of my present hood).

But they didn't, which means I don't have to write another angry letter to Peter Jackson (I'm very annoyed about certain things in the Hobbit).  In fact, the care that Spielberg and Jackson put into this film made me insanely happy.  They decided to combine three stories into one, The Crab with the Golden Claw, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure and they did so seamlessly.  It gave them the opening to have Tintin meet Captain Haddock and at the same time, enjoy the fun and beauty of North Africa.  The inclusion of the Milanese Nightingale made me squee with delight.  Poor Fiance; he is not as familiar with Tintin as I am and so he had to put up with me squeeing about little gems (at the begging of the film, there is a man drawing Tintin's portrait.  Not only does he produce the Herge portrait of Tintin but behind Tintin are the portraits of various other characters) and commenting on changes to the story.

Thankfully Fiance enjoyed the film as well and didn't just have to spend 90 minutes beside an over-excited fan.

The first thing he got very excited about was the CGI.  Some critics have said that the film crosses into the uncanny valley but the wasn't the experience for either of us.  The movements of the characters were very smooth and the animation of their expressions and mouths as they spoke did not feel uncomfortable.  The animation kept the cartoon feel of Herge's stories and allowed for the bending of physics and what would actually kill a human.  For example, Captain Haddock's parachute gets caught in the blade of a propeller at one point and we watch the Captain fly around and around.  It's fun, but as mentioned, bends what would actually kill a human.

And Snowy!  I was very excited to meet the hyper-intelligent, adorable sidekick of Tintin.  Snowy is based on a fox terrier and in the comics has his own thoughts and commentaries on what is happening around him.  Sadly, that was not kept in the film but Snowy stilled reined supreme in being extremely agile, humorous, and cute.

This movie was definitely made with the feel of Indiana Jones for kids, something I had never really thought of as Tintin being, prior to this film.  I suppose it is true though, only Tintin is pretty much asexual and I don't think he ever kills anyone.  Still with that in mind, it was entertaining to hear the John Williams Indiana-esque music and see Tintin and Captain Haddock racing through an exotic city on motor bikes with a tank following them.  It made me laugh.

If you are a fan of the Tintin books, I do recommend checking this movie out.  It's a great deal of fun to see these characters come to life.  Even if you aren't familiar with the Tintin books I recommend this movie.  It's a lot of fun (and then you should check out the Tintin books as they are so very much awesome).  This movie is available on Netflix, which is where we found it.  Good movie for a Friday night when you want something light and fun with a cute, spunky dog. 

Why I Hate The Wedding Dress Industry

As some of you may know, I am getting married in May.  I am quite excited.  As you may also know, I am female and my partner is male.  This makes me the bride.

Being the bride is an interesting experience, specifically when it comes to what you are going to wear to your wedding.  The current tradition in western culture is the White Dress. You know the dress? The spectacular dress that makes you a princess, that you wear once, that you spend money on, that you outshine everyone in?  Yeah, that dress.

I started out trying to be optimistic, and after a few false starts, I figured I would be able to find something.  You know, something simple and elegant.  Something pretty.  Something that made me feel good and that I'd enjoy.  I swear, I did try.

Dress One

I went into a couple of wedding dress shops, thinking I'd just look.  See what's out there.  Get a feel for the industry.  The problem is that the wedding dress has always terrified me.  My idea of lovely dress looks more like this.  Or this.

Dress Two

 

















Or even this (this one wouldn't copy over.  Check it out.  Seriously).

The first one I went into I went with Fiance.  It did not start well.  Upon entering we were visually assaulted with a sea of white fluff and plastic.  I wasn't sure where the dresses stopped and the walls began.  We tried to just surreptitiously poke around.  No such luck was to be had.  The saleslady spotted us and pounced.  With more vigor than a thirteen year old virgin promised sex, she began to tell us about our "options", "different models", and "price range".  I said wedding dress, not car.  As I stood there trying to get the words "simple" and "poor student" out she rattled on about getting a package deal on bridesmaids dresses (my brother is standing up for me), flower girl dresses (we don't have one) and mother-of-the-bride dress (my mother wouldn't be caught dead in anything in there.  I wouldn't dress a corpse in the dresses she waved at).  Did I mention that while she eagerly expunged this information onto the two of us she was well past the socially appropriate personal space limit?  Due to the sheer volume of fabric around us we could not back up any further and she just kept coming.

I think Fiance saw the wide-eyed terror look that was now living on my face and he kindly muscled us out of there and we fled.  The couple of other places that I went into were like that.  In one place the dress on display was something like this only the skirt from puke pink on the bottom to white at the top.  It was this tattered.  I fantasized about setting it on fire and steered clear of the shop.


Most places required an appointment just to get in.  There was no way I was going to make one as my main desire on this hunt was to be left alone.  I hated the eager, bouncing, Mary Kay-esque ladies who asked me questions about my flowers, china patterns and told me how this day only came once I had to look my best and like a princess, didn't I?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I thought about going to one of the bridal expo's here in Edmonton; I really did want to try.  The one I looked at wouldn't admit men though.  It's the bride's day so no men because they can't help with the shopping.  Because somehow that makes sense. 

 

It got very frustrating.  I did finally reach a point where I told Fiance, fuck it, I'm wearing a nice white suit.  I can't take this crap.  The intensity of the white dresses, the white, the blandness of the not intense dresses and the prices.  It was not something I was willing to do.

Sidenote, but did you know that the white dress did not come into fashion until the early 20th century?  That was when the rich began to be able to afford fancy, ridiculous dresses that you wear once.  And what colour is most impractical therefore shows you have the money to throw at this dress?  White.  Hence, the white dress fashion was born.  Before that girls wore their best dress to their wedding.  I like that idea.  Much more simple and opens up a whole new set of possibilities.

Ultimately, I did find a dress.  It is gorgeous and not white and I will it wear again after the wedding.  It's blue actually.  And did I mention it's gorgeous?  It also wasn't marked as a wedding dress, it was just something I stumbled upon and fell completely in love with.  I'm very excited about it.

Curves, butts and other sexy things.

Brother and I have been chatting about labels, specifically about labels relating to sexuality.  He has requested that I write a post on this.

So, bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, questioning, bi-curious, pansexual, asexual and any others you can think of; what do they mean and what do they do to the youth trying to figure themselves out?

In my own personal experience these labels mean confusion.  When I was younger I figured I was straight, because that's what people were, you know?  Not in a I-was-born-in-a-homophobic-family way but in a girls-like-boys and boys-like-girls way.  I never really thought about it until I got to about thirteen.  That was when I sitting in drama class and working on a collage with some  female classmates.  We were looking at a magazine picture of a a female model, and one of the girls said something that made me realize that the way I thought of the model was different than the way they did.  I was extremely confused; what did this mean?  I had crushes on boys and I wanted to kiss them and hold their hands and dance with them.  I had female friends.  I liked being with them, I was comfortable being physically close to them, we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.  Occasionally we held hands.  Did this mean anything?  What was I?  At that point, mostly just confused.

I decided that I would need to accept the title of bisexual.  I mean, I was apparently attracted to girls, so I figured that this must mean that I was bisexual. But this didn't sit well with me.  Did this mean that I needed to feel the same thing for girls as I did for guys?  I didn't so then what?  What was I, in terms of sexuality?  And as I've grown older, my sexuality has fluctuated and changed.

I've never found an answer to this question of what am I.  I believe I would technically qualify as pansexual. I have been attracted to both men and women, I have had sex with both and I have had romantic relationships with both.  It's easier for me to be attracted to women, but I love checking out the cute guys' butts in the gym.  I'm getting married to an amazing man who has been my best friend for the last five-ish years.  So what does that make me?

I'm a third year university student who loves cooking, reading, writing, biking.  I've taken up knitting.  I have two adorable cats.  I like pretty dresses and button down shirts and ties.  And I like cute girls and their curves.  I like cute boys and their butts.  I like kissing people.  When I get asked about my sexuality, I say I'm not straight.  It seems most simple.

Brother and I were talking about this complication.  Some people are able to easily settle in one sexuality or another, but I know so many who can't for whatever reason. I know girls and guys who are primarily attracted to women but they have met men that they want to be with.  I know girls and guys who are primarily attracted to men but have women they want to be with.

Fiance and I have talked about this and we have a personal preference for the words androphilia, gynophilia and ambiphilia.  Androphilia means attraction to men or masculinity, gynophilia means attraction to female or femininity, and ambiphilia means attraction to intersex or transgender.  I would consider myself all three; Fiance would consider himself gynophilic.  Why do we like these terms?  It covers the gender spectrum and it skips all the fun that is trying to fit into the labels of pan, bi, queer, straight or other stuff.

Brother wants to get rid of the labels and just assume people are attracted to people until they say otherwise.  And by that, to my knowledge, he means take it in a case by case situation, not a gender as a whole.  He believes not only is it more simple but it allows for freedom of being attracted to someone without having to fit into some sort of spectrum and worrying if you don't.  He believes that it also allows youth, trying to figure out where they fit in, the freedom to just be and explore.  I agree with him.  The last thing you need while moving though adolescence is more confusion and fear. 

I do not believe it helps adolescence to have to try and find a label that they fit under.  I believe it just creates problems.  A girl I dated for a while came out to her parents while we were together.  She was not pleased that she needed to do so.  She wished that her parents and those around her did not automatically assume she was straight.  "I would not have to come out if I liked guys!" she complained to me.  I empathized; I hate coming out to people.  I hate the moment where they look at me and Fiance and raise their eyebrows; like by not being straight, how can I be with him. When it comes to my sexuality, I am happiest when left alone about it (unless the cute girl at the bar wants to buy me a drink.  Well then I'm happy to talk sex with her. :P).  But honestly, unless we are planning to have sex, I usually just feel like saying "shoo!" when people ask.

Really, I feel that if it's there's affection and respect, does it really matter?  And unless a label is going to help me get Brandi Carlile into my bed I'm happy without them.

2013 cometh and we're still alive!

It's the last post of the year!  Wooo, we didn't all die.  I always wonder, when stuff like the Mayan calendar thing or that thing, whatever it was called, a couple years ago happen, how do they account for time zones?  Like when New Zealand doesn't blow up, do I still need to worry or am I good?  This is something that people seem to forget when it comes to dooms days.  My brother and I had an interesting chat about dooms days.  If you knew for certain that the world was going to end would you stick around or would you off yourself?  We agreed that we'd stay to watch the show but would keep some quick offingg method around in case it got too gross.  Both of us are extremely curious as to how the world would end and would want to stay to see it.

Speaking of time zones (oh yeah, reaching transition!) I flew back from Ontario two days ago after spending a lovely week Christmas-ing it up with my family.  My flight back ended up not leaving until eleven pm-ish due to delays so I was hoping I would sleep on the plane.  No such luck.  Between the screaming babies, horrible children in front of me and some evil energy that decided to possess me I was wide awake.  Brain dead, but wide awake.  Commence four hours of very bad television.  Specifically Storage Wars: Texas.  Holy god.  It's a bunch of people bidding on shit in abandoned storage lockers and then...you know what, I recommend looking it up if you are curious.  Honestly, I can't bring myself to describe this superficial garbage.  I think my brain started to melt out my ears while I watched this.  One interesting thing though, is that since I was watching American television, I got Amercian ads, something I really don't see ever.  They were fairly horrible on the racist and sexist grounds but my favourite was the one that just talked about "the American way" and working hard to promote the "American way" and so on and so forth.  It was blatant propaganda.  It amused me because they went on and one about this "great land" that our "forefathers founded" 150 years ago.  This amuses me because, well, in the grand scheme of things, 150 years is really not that long.  You're a baby country by comparison of say, Scotland or Germany.  Or China.  Just saying.

Also, your "forefathers" murdered shit tons of people and animals in order to get this "great land" so yeah.  Just saying.  I like Canada.  We're pretty neutral on being Canadian and if anyone said "The Canadian way" they'd be talking about Tim Horton's.

So do I have any great revelations or wise things to say as this year comes to an end?  Not really.  I'm getting married next year.  That's exciting!  Four months and excitement building.  I do have one sort of New Year's goal; I'd like to be done the novel I'm working on and be working on getting it published.  People ask me what I'm going to do when I graduate; be the next Margaret Atwood or Alice Munro is the plan.  Sometimes I say something more reserved like "grad school" but yeah, that is the plan.  I want to be the next big Canadian female writer.  It'll be rad.

Happy New Years to all!  Hope you have a fabulous and safe night.

Aimee and Jaguar

So I love Netflix.  I wish they had more available but I love Netflix.  Watched Aimee and Jaguar off there yesterday.  My only complaint is that apparently it's only available until November 10th!  That's very sad as the film was amazing.

It's a 1998, German war film, set in Berlin towards the end of the second world war.  It follows the story of five different women living in Berlin at the time, four of whom are Jewish.  It is based on the memoirs of Lilly Wust, who is in fact one of the main characters.  That may be kind of obvious.  I apologize if so.  It is pre-breakfast. 

Anyways this film is one of the most beautiful and sad things I have seen in a while (I'm actually trying to think of when the last time I saw a film this lovely was.  I'm unsure).  I should warn you, fellow reader, that I am biased; as I told Boyfriend last night, I love foreign language films so I am already uber inclined to give a good review.  I love hearing the language instead of English-with-an-accent-so-you-think-they're-speaking-German.  There are also super hot women in it.  That does nothing to help my biases.  This ties into another reason I love Netflix.

 They have a section called Gay and Lesbian films!  I found this one there.  As I mentioned, it is based on the memoirs of Lilly Wust, who at the time of the second world war was a housewife married to a German soldier.  She falls in love with a Jewish woman, Felice Schragenheim and the story ensues.  Maria Schrader plays Felice and holy damn is she sexy.  She reminds me a bit of Noomi Rapace in appearance; I am sure I have gushed about Noomi.  There is some extremely hot lesbian sex in the movie, not just between Felice and Lilly but also with Felice and her former girlfriend, Ilse, played by Johanna Wokalek, who is also a sexy beast. 

Sorry, I could rant about the sexy women in the movie for quite some time but you are probably going, that's great, but why else is the film amazing?  Well, as I said it is beautiful and extremely sad.  I don't feel I'm giving anything away by saying that because come on, it's a love story between the wife of a Nazi officer and a Jewish woman in WWII Berlin.  But this movie also explores the politics of the time and highlights the struggles of the time.  Not just of the Jewish people but also the Germans living in bombed out Berlin.  It's actually very fascinating.  The movie comes across as unbiased to either side and just simply presents a picture of the facts through the characters.  The story feels real and the characters feel alive.  I am thinking that a lot of the lack of tropes and horrible plot lines has to do with the fact that the story is based off of memoirs and therefore, actually happened.  The terror of the time is not minced around and the troubles of the people are not easily resolved.  The ending is not a neat little box that allows you to go, well that was nice and fun but moving on.  No, this one stays with you.  It's haunting.  I love it.

As I mentioned, it appears to only be available on Netflix for another two days (NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) so if you have Netflix I recommend watching it before then.  And even if you don't have Netflix, watch it.  It is wonderful.  You will cry by the way.  A warning.  But you'll also laugh and smile and if you're someone like me, drool.  Mmmm curves.  So yes, Aimee and Jaguar; fantastic film.