Les Adventures de Tintin

Earlier this week Fiance and I watched Tintin the movie and holy crap!  As a lover of the comics I was nervous sitting down to watch the film.  Super curious, but nervous.  I was scared they were going to horribly wreck and abuse the wonderful Herge stories of childhood (and, to be honest, stories of my present hood).

But they didn't, which means I don't have to write another angry letter to Peter Jackson (I'm very annoyed about certain things in the Hobbit).  In fact, the care that Spielberg and Jackson put into this film made me insanely happy.  They decided to combine three stories into one, The Crab with the Golden Claw, The Secret of the Unicorn and Red Rackham's Treasure and they did so seamlessly.  It gave them the opening to have Tintin meet Captain Haddock and at the same time, enjoy the fun and beauty of North Africa.  The inclusion of the Milanese Nightingale made me squee with delight.  Poor Fiance; he is not as familiar with Tintin as I am and so he had to put up with me squeeing about little gems (at the begging of the film, there is a man drawing Tintin's portrait.  Not only does he produce the Herge portrait of Tintin but behind Tintin are the portraits of various other characters) and commenting on changes to the story.

Thankfully Fiance enjoyed the film as well and didn't just have to spend 90 minutes beside an over-excited fan.

The first thing he got very excited about was the CGI.  Some critics have said that the film crosses into the uncanny valley but the wasn't the experience for either of us.  The movements of the characters were very smooth and the animation of their expressions and mouths as they spoke did not feel uncomfortable.  The animation kept the cartoon feel of Herge's stories and allowed for the bending of physics and what would actually kill a human.  For example, Captain Haddock's parachute gets caught in the blade of a propeller at one point and we watch the Captain fly around and around.  It's fun, but as mentioned, bends what would actually kill a human.

And Snowy!  I was very excited to meet the hyper-intelligent, adorable sidekick of Tintin.  Snowy is based on a fox terrier and in the comics has his own thoughts and commentaries on what is happening around him.  Sadly, that was not kept in the film but Snowy stilled reined supreme in being extremely agile, humorous, and cute.

This movie was definitely made with the feel of Indiana Jones for kids, something I had never really thought of as Tintin being, prior to this film.  I suppose it is true though, only Tintin is pretty much asexual and I don't think he ever kills anyone.  Still with that in mind, it was entertaining to hear the John Williams Indiana-esque music and see Tintin and Captain Haddock racing through an exotic city on motor bikes with a tank following them.  It made me laugh.

If you are a fan of the Tintin books, I do recommend checking this movie out.  It's a great deal of fun to see these characters come to life.  Even if you aren't familiar with the Tintin books I recommend this movie.  It's a lot of fun (and then you should check out the Tintin books as they are so very much awesome).  This movie is available on Netflix, which is where we found it.  Good movie for a Friday night when you want something light and fun with a cute, spunky dog. 

Why I Hate The Wedding Dress Industry

As some of you may know, I am getting married in May.  I am quite excited.  As you may also know, I am female and my partner is male.  This makes me the bride.

Being the bride is an interesting experience, specifically when it comes to what you are going to wear to your wedding.  The current tradition in western culture is the White Dress. You know the dress? The spectacular dress that makes you a princess, that you wear once, that you spend money on, that you outshine everyone in?  Yeah, that dress.

I started out trying to be optimistic, and after a few false starts, I figured I would be able to find something.  You know, something simple and elegant.  Something pretty.  Something that made me feel good and that I'd enjoy.  I swear, I did try.

Dress One

I went into a couple of wedding dress shops, thinking I'd just look.  See what's out there.  Get a feel for the industry.  The problem is that the wedding dress has always terrified me.  My idea of lovely dress looks more like this.  Or this.

Dress Two

 

















Or even this (this one wouldn't copy over.  Check it out.  Seriously).

The first one I went into I went with Fiance.  It did not start well.  Upon entering we were visually assaulted with a sea of white fluff and plastic.  I wasn't sure where the dresses stopped and the walls began.  We tried to just surreptitiously poke around.  No such luck was to be had.  The saleslady spotted us and pounced.  With more vigor than a thirteen year old virgin promised sex, she began to tell us about our "options", "different models", and "price range".  I said wedding dress, not car.  As I stood there trying to get the words "simple" and "poor student" out she rattled on about getting a package deal on bridesmaids dresses (my brother is standing up for me), flower girl dresses (we don't have one) and mother-of-the-bride dress (my mother wouldn't be caught dead in anything in there.  I wouldn't dress a corpse in the dresses she waved at).  Did I mention that while she eagerly expunged this information onto the two of us she was well past the socially appropriate personal space limit?  Due to the sheer volume of fabric around us we could not back up any further and she just kept coming.

I think Fiance saw the wide-eyed terror look that was now living on my face and he kindly muscled us out of there and we fled.  The couple of other places that I went into were like that.  In one place the dress on display was something like this only the skirt from puke pink on the bottom to white at the top.  It was this tattered.  I fantasized about setting it on fire and steered clear of the shop.


Most places required an appointment just to get in.  There was no way I was going to make one as my main desire on this hunt was to be left alone.  I hated the eager, bouncing, Mary Kay-esque ladies who asked me questions about my flowers, china patterns and told me how this day only came once I had to look my best and like a princess, didn't I?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

I thought about going to one of the bridal expo's here in Edmonton; I really did want to try.  The one I looked at wouldn't admit men though.  It's the bride's day so no men because they can't help with the shopping.  Because somehow that makes sense. 

 

It got very frustrating.  I did finally reach a point where I told Fiance, fuck it, I'm wearing a nice white suit.  I can't take this crap.  The intensity of the white dresses, the white, the blandness of the not intense dresses and the prices.  It was not something I was willing to do.

Sidenote, but did you know that the white dress did not come into fashion until the early 20th century?  That was when the rich began to be able to afford fancy, ridiculous dresses that you wear once.  And what colour is most impractical therefore shows you have the money to throw at this dress?  White.  Hence, the white dress fashion was born.  Before that girls wore their best dress to their wedding.  I like that idea.  Much more simple and opens up a whole new set of possibilities.

Ultimately, I did find a dress.  It is gorgeous and not white and I will it wear again after the wedding.  It's blue actually.  And did I mention it's gorgeous?  It also wasn't marked as a wedding dress, it was just something I stumbled upon and fell completely in love with.  I'm very excited about it.

Curves, butts and other sexy things.

Brother and I have been chatting about labels, specifically about labels relating to sexuality.  He has requested that I write a post on this.

So, bisexual, lesbian, gay, straight, questioning, bi-curious, pansexual, asexual and any others you can think of; what do they mean and what do they do to the youth trying to figure themselves out?

In my own personal experience these labels mean confusion.  When I was younger I figured I was straight, because that's what people were, you know?  Not in a I-was-born-in-a-homophobic-family way but in a girls-like-boys and boys-like-girls way.  I never really thought about it until I got to about thirteen.  That was when I sitting in drama class and working on a collage with some  female classmates.  We were looking at a magazine picture of a a female model, and one of the girls said something that made me realize that the way I thought of the model was different than the way they did.  I was extremely confused; what did this mean?  I had crushes on boys and I wanted to kiss them and hold their hands and dance with them.  I had female friends.  I liked being with them, I was comfortable being physically close to them, we hugged and kissed each other on the cheek.  Occasionally we held hands.  Did this mean anything?  What was I?  At that point, mostly just confused.

I decided that I would need to accept the title of bisexual.  I mean, I was apparently attracted to girls, so I figured that this must mean that I was bisexual. But this didn't sit well with me.  Did this mean that I needed to feel the same thing for girls as I did for guys?  I didn't so then what?  What was I, in terms of sexuality?  And as I've grown older, my sexuality has fluctuated and changed.

I've never found an answer to this question of what am I.  I believe I would technically qualify as pansexual. I have been attracted to both men and women, I have had sex with both and I have had romantic relationships with both.  It's easier for me to be attracted to women, but I love checking out the cute guys' butts in the gym.  I'm getting married to an amazing man who has been my best friend for the last five-ish years.  So what does that make me?

I'm a third year university student who loves cooking, reading, writing, biking.  I've taken up knitting.  I have two adorable cats.  I like pretty dresses and button down shirts and ties.  And I like cute girls and their curves.  I like cute boys and their butts.  I like kissing people.  When I get asked about my sexuality, I say I'm not straight.  It seems most simple.

Brother and I were talking about this complication.  Some people are able to easily settle in one sexuality or another, but I know so many who can't for whatever reason. I know girls and guys who are primarily attracted to women but they have met men that they want to be with.  I know girls and guys who are primarily attracted to men but have women they want to be with.

Fiance and I have talked about this and we have a personal preference for the words androphilia, gynophilia and ambiphilia.  Androphilia means attraction to men or masculinity, gynophilia means attraction to female or femininity, and ambiphilia means attraction to intersex or transgender.  I would consider myself all three; Fiance would consider himself gynophilic.  Why do we like these terms?  It covers the gender spectrum and it skips all the fun that is trying to fit into the labels of pan, bi, queer, straight or other stuff.

Brother wants to get rid of the labels and just assume people are attracted to people until they say otherwise.  And by that, to my knowledge, he means take it in a case by case situation, not a gender as a whole.  He believes not only is it more simple but it allows for freedom of being attracted to someone without having to fit into some sort of spectrum and worrying if you don't.  He believes that it also allows youth, trying to figure out where they fit in, the freedom to just be and explore.  I agree with him.  The last thing you need while moving though adolescence is more confusion and fear. 

I do not believe it helps adolescence to have to try and find a label that they fit under.  I believe it just creates problems.  A girl I dated for a while came out to her parents while we were together.  She was not pleased that she needed to do so.  She wished that her parents and those around her did not automatically assume she was straight.  "I would not have to come out if I liked guys!" she complained to me.  I empathized; I hate coming out to people.  I hate the moment where they look at me and Fiance and raise their eyebrows; like by not being straight, how can I be with him. When it comes to my sexuality, I am happiest when left alone about it (unless the cute girl at the bar wants to buy me a drink.  Well then I'm happy to talk sex with her. :P).  But honestly, unless we are planning to have sex, I usually just feel like saying "shoo!" when people ask.

Really, I feel that if it's there's affection and respect, does it really matter?  And unless a label is going to help me get Brandi Carlile into my bed I'm happy without them.

2013 cometh and we're still alive!

It's the last post of the year!  Wooo, we didn't all die.  I always wonder, when stuff like the Mayan calendar thing or that thing, whatever it was called, a couple years ago happen, how do they account for time zones?  Like when New Zealand doesn't blow up, do I still need to worry or am I good?  This is something that people seem to forget when it comes to dooms days.  My brother and I had an interesting chat about dooms days.  If you knew for certain that the world was going to end would you stick around or would you off yourself?  We agreed that we'd stay to watch the show but would keep some quick offingg method around in case it got too gross.  Both of us are extremely curious as to how the world would end and would want to stay to see it.

Speaking of time zones (oh yeah, reaching transition!) I flew back from Ontario two days ago after spending a lovely week Christmas-ing it up with my family.  My flight back ended up not leaving until eleven pm-ish due to delays so I was hoping I would sleep on the plane.  No such luck.  Between the screaming babies, horrible children in front of me and some evil energy that decided to possess me I was wide awake.  Brain dead, but wide awake.  Commence four hours of very bad television.  Specifically Storage Wars: Texas.  Holy god.  It's a bunch of people bidding on shit in abandoned storage lockers and then...you know what, I recommend looking it up if you are curious.  Honestly, I can't bring myself to describe this superficial garbage.  I think my brain started to melt out my ears while I watched this.  One interesting thing though, is that since I was watching American television, I got Amercian ads, something I really don't see ever.  They were fairly horrible on the racist and sexist grounds but my favourite was the one that just talked about "the American way" and working hard to promote the "American way" and so on and so forth.  It was blatant propaganda.  It amused me because they went on and one about this "great land" that our "forefathers founded" 150 years ago.  This amuses me because, well, in the grand scheme of things, 150 years is really not that long.  You're a baby country by comparison of say, Scotland or Germany.  Or China.  Just saying.

Also, your "forefathers" murdered shit tons of people and animals in order to get this "great land" so yeah.  Just saying.  I like Canada.  We're pretty neutral on being Canadian and if anyone said "The Canadian way" they'd be talking about Tim Horton's.

So do I have any great revelations or wise things to say as this year comes to an end?  Not really.  I'm getting married next year.  That's exciting!  Four months and excitement building.  I do have one sort of New Year's goal; I'd like to be done the novel I'm working on and be working on getting it published.  People ask me what I'm going to do when I graduate; be the next Margaret Atwood or Alice Munro is the plan.  Sometimes I say something more reserved like "grad school" but yeah, that is the plan.  I want to be the next big Canadian female writer.  It'll be rad.

Happy New Years to all!  Hope you have a fabulous and safe night.

Aimee and Jaguar

So I love Netflix.  I wish they had more available but I love Netflix.  Watched Aimee and Jaguar off there yesterday.  My only complaint is that apparently it's only available until November 10th!  That's very sad as the film was amazing.

It's a 1998, German war film, set in Berlin towards the end of the second world war.  It follows the story of five different women living in Berlin at the time, four of whom are Jewish.  It is based on the memoirs of Lilly Wust, who is in fact one of the main characters.  That may be kind of obvious.  I apologize if so.  It is pre-breakfast. 

Anyways this film is one of the most beautiful and sad things I have seen in a while (I'm actually trying to think of when the last time I saw a film this lovely was.  I'm unsure).  I should warn you, fellow reader, that I am biased; as I told Boyfriend last night, I love foreign language films so I am already uber inclined to give a good review.  I love hearing the language instead of English-with-an-accent-so-you-think-they're-speaking-German.  There are also super hot women in it.  That does nothing to help my biases.  This ties into another reason I love Netflix.

 They have a section called Gay and Lesbian films!  I found this one there.  As I mentioned, it is based on the memoirs of Lilly Wust, who at the time of the second world war was a housewife married to a German soldier.  She falls in love with a Jewish woman, Felice Schragenheim and the story ensues.  Maria Schrader plays Felice and holy damn is she sexy.  She reminds me a bit of Noomi Rapace in appearance; I am sure I have gushed about Noomi.  There is some extremely hot lesbian sex in the movie, not just between Felice and Lilly but also with Felice and her former girlfriend, Ilse, played by Johanna Wokalek, who is also a sexy beast. 

Sorry, I could rant about the sexy women in the movie for quite some time but you are probably going, that's great, but why else is the film amazing?  Well, as I said it is beautiful and extremely sad.  I don't feel I'm giving anything away by saying that because come on, it's a love story between the wife of a Nazi officer and a Jewish woman in WWII Berlin.  But this movie also explores the politics of the time and highlights the struggles of the time.  Not just of the Jewish people but also the Germans living in bombed out Berlin.  It's actually very fascinating.  The movie comes across as unbiased to either side and just simply presents a picture of the facts through the characters.  The story feels real and the characters feel alive.  I am thinking that a lot of the lack of tropes and horrible plot lines has to do with the fact that the story is based off of memoirs and therefore, actually happened.  The terror of the time is not minced around and the troubles of the people are not easily resolved.  The ending is not a neat little box that allows you to go, well that was nice and fun but moving on.  No, this one stays with you.  It's haunting.  I love it.

As I mentioned, it appears to only be available on Netflix for another two days (NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!) so if you have Netflix I recommend watching it before then.  And even if you don't have Netflix, watch it.  It is wonderful.  You will cry by the way.  A warning.  But you'll also laugh and smile and if you're someone like me, drool.  Mmmm curves.  So yes, Aimee and Jaguar; fantastic film.

Teachers and Tea

Good god it's been nearly a month.  My Mom got a hold of me last night and one of the things she said was that she's supposed to be the one behind, not me.  Fair point Mom, fair point.  So here I am at what feels like too fucking early, with a mug of green tea and a bowl of leftovers.  I keep thinking maybe there is some way I can crawl back into bed and pretend that this is all a dream but then I remember my fantasy of going to grad school.  Damn that hope.  Also I do actually want to go to this class.  The content is fairly interesting and I'll be honest, I have a thing for my prof.  I usually don't get like this over teachers but she's cute, smart, interesting and friendly.  And a drummer in a metal band.  I swooned when I found out.  And realized, with a sinking feeling, that I would be faithfully attending every class to enjoy when she smiles at me, sitting all eager like in the front row.  Both Fiance and Boyfriend say I should ask her out for coffee after the final exam.  Sure, if I ever find the balls.  Nothing says appealing like making a potential ass out of yourself. 

Side note, ohmygodisthisteaevertasty!  It's Blue Mango that Fiance and I picked up from Cha Island (it's a link to their Facebook page as the website is not working for shit for me).  What is Cha Island you ask?  It is a fantastic tropical themed cafe just off Whyte Ave.  The official address is 10332-81ave, here in Edmonton, but if you're anything like me, you're going, give me landmarks!  K, it's sort of behind Greenwoods on Whyte.  It's right across the street from Bulk Barn, which is amazingly convenient because I am also a Bulk Barn junkie.  The cafe is, as I mentioned, tropical themed, which includes gorgeous, fun interior decorating.  The recent paint job has the place a wonderful shade of blue with fauna and flora interspersed on the walls.  There's a wall of teas that you can sniff and then either purchase in bulk or in a press to enjoy in house.  Or both.  Both is a wonderful idea.

I'm not really a tea fan, is this place for me?  First off, shame on you for not liking tea.  But that aside, oh yes it is.  This place is a wonderful little nook that is for everybody.  It's run by a guy name Jake (rather cute.  Check him out.  I do) who has a fantastic selection of alcoholic beverages, sandwiches, waffles, hot tea, cold tea, cocoa and I believe coffee.  This is embarrassing to admit, but I'm unsure on the last one.  Only because I don't drink said black sludge myself.  Huh, now I'm curious and will need to check.  Anyways, you want to hear about the cafe itself, not my lack of coffee knowledge (just checked the Facebook page.  Coffee is available oh sludge drinkers).

Everything is priced very nicely.  As a student, I like going places I can afford and I can happily get myself and Fiance each a sandwich and our own hot beverage for under $20.  Good date place if you need somewhere affordable and awesome.  Boyfriend said he was surprised at the lack of pretension when I took him there.  I laughed at his cafe expectation.

Jake makes amazing food.  I have brought several people there and every single one of them has been in awe at the deliciousness that is his sandwiches and his waffles.  He also has plenty of magazines (National Geographic!  It's how I read it.  I can't afford my own subscription sadly), board games and cards available.  There are comfy couches and chairs to enjoy by the fireplace or if you want more traditional cafe like seating, there are a bunch of tables and chairs downstairs.  Did I mention this place has two levels?  It's kind of a loft.  It adds to the awesomeness. 

One last thing, Jake can do lactose free versions of drinks, which I really appreciate.  Had the masala cocoa yesterday (amazing!!!) with almond milk in it and mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.  Very good.


Ok, so that was a bit more than I side note about the source of my tea but now you know where to get awesome tea and other tasty things.  At great prices!  In a cool place!  Always a good thing.

Anyways, I should take my now somewhat caffeinated self and finish getting ready for prof oggling.  Hope this puts me in slightly better standing Mom!

Depression

I had a very interesting talk with Fiance the other day.  We were talking about a friend of ours who suffered from anorexia a few years ago.  This person had expressed that they were very embarrassed and ashamed with regards to what had happened, largely because they spent a great deal of time figuring out how to lie to their parents.  What I found interesting was that afterwards Fiance was saying to me that he was surprised that they felt so bad about what had happened; why feel bad about something that is not a choice?

Now, I suffer from depression, something I believe I mentioned a while ago.  It's fairly under control, with some days being better than others.  All in all, it's gotten to the point where 99% of the time it is manageable.  I'm used to dealing with it and know what I need to do to help prevent really bad waves.  That being said, there are still days where there seems to be nothing I can do and I just feel awful.  On those days it's very hard to do much of anything and very difficult to be a pleasant person.  I spend my time staring into space looking morose.  What comes along as a not-so-pleasant side effect of this is a feeling of self-loathing, much like what my friend experiences .  Please note, I am well aware that I am not choosing to be like this and I do not have control over it.  I also know that many people who suffer with a mental illness will experience this kind of complete self-loathing.  So why hate myself if it's not a choice?  Why does anyone get down on themselves when their brain starts doing funky things?

This was what I was trying to explain to Fiance as we talked about our friend.  He said that he felt sorry for them that they'd had to go through that and he felt it was sad that they still felt such dislike towards themselves in regards to their past.
"Why would you be so hard on yourself?" he asked. (To be clear, he was not saying this like "get over it" but more as a wish that this person and others who have felt this, could be gentler towards themselves.)  So I tried to explain.

Not having a choice over what your brain is doing is very hard.  It's very hard to feel awful and know that the only thing you can do is wait for it to pass.  In my case, when it gets really hard, the best thing I can do is be good to myself.  Make sure I'm not alone, game, read a good book, cuddle (cuddling is awesome.  And the skin-to-skin contact will release oxytocin which helps you feel loved and connected), have some nice tea, watch a movie...stuff like that. But unfortunately it's not as simple as just taking time out and being gentle to myself.  I still have to function, go to work, go to school, study, interact with people and it's the interacting with people that gets interesting.

 Remember when I said I stop being a pleasant person?  When I feel like crap it's very easy to snap at people, be difficult, be miserable and if it gets really bad, say rather hurtful things.  Do I mean what I say?  No.  Am I able to control it? Mmm....not sure.  And that's where the fun kicks in.  When I say something unpleasant to someone I care about I then watch their face and see their emotional reaction.  I know I've screwed up and I know I've hurt them. And it hurts.  The last thing I want to do is hurt those I love.   This is part of why I start to hate myself.

  Can you control it? If not, why feel bad? You're not being clear!

Ok.  When I say I'm not sure if I can control it's because what happens is that right after I've said whatever unpleasant thing I've said, I feel like I COULD have controlled it.  Not should have, but COULD have.  Is that true?  It's hard to say.  I'm really not sure.  The point is though, I feel responsible and then I feel awful for hurting my loved ones.  So I hate myself.

I can't say that this is what happens for everyone and it's a bit of a simplification of what happens to me.  A contributing factor to hating myself is that I also feel like I should be able to control the bad thoughts.  Just stop thinking about them, right?  Just do something else!  It's certainly not that simple and learning that I have an actual disease helps me be easier on myself.  But mental funkiness sucks.  It would be nicer in many ways to be missing an arm and be able to say "There!  There is the problem!  See!!" 

Fiance did say he thought he could sort of understand.  He also said he wished myself and my friend could avoid feeling that way.  I wish it too.

But until that time, I will continue to cuddle up to him and hope that the storm passes without too much damage and that one day, our friend will be able to forgive themselves.  It would be nice.